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31 March 2018, 08:49

Dear sweet jesus, I got up early this morning.

Two things I forgot to pack are asprin and a hairbrush. The front desk doesn’t have any “at this time” so I’m trying to brush my hair with this pencil. I’d also kill a hobo for a big mac right about now. I’m am currently in Asheville on a break from life. Spent the day with the most brilliant of souls, my friend Krista.

My voice is hoarse and gravelly, so I’m assuming I was loud and probably didn’t shut up for one second yesterday. I don’t know how much I drank, but I do remember everything except for the walk from the car to the hotel room. It’s a complete mystery to me how I was able to operate the elevator and eventually the door knob, since I wasn’t able to open the door with the key sober, but, I’m here so I had some sort of success in that area.

I took a little mini vacation to Asheville yesterday and spend the day with Krista Gargano. Let me tell you a little bit about her. She’s an immensely talent beauty with a soul that lights up a room. She’s like the anti-doug, in that she brings out the best in everyone. She is the embodiment and manifestation of life affirmation. She brought out the best in me…. I’m kinda hoping. I remember not shutting up, and smiling a lot, and that in itself, these days is something really different for me.

We hugged and talked (I talked and talked and talked) and she showed me downtown Asheville. For the first time, in a VERY LONG WHILE, I felt comfortable. The people around me looked just like me. They dressed just like me. They smiled at me. They weren’t pretentious, they weren’t out to get something from me, they were relaxed and happy. They didn’t look at me funny like they do in Gaston, or Columbia, or even Augusta. I didn’t feel… judged. It almost reminded me of the bustling streets of San Francisco. I neither felt uncomfortable nor on guard. And I over did it. Not just over drank, but over enjoyed life. It was a feeling that filled me up and restored my hope in that life is going to be shiny again.

I had gotten here at the hotel yesterday afternoon and was amazed at how old I looked in the direct sunlight. I felt a little … ugly. But, I thought, fuck it. I met Krista at the corner, and we walked and talked a bit. Suddenly I was smiling. Suddenly, I was struting. Suddenly, I was talking to strangers. Suddenly, I was laughing. Suddenly, I felt pretty. I ate goat cheese figs and hunks of beef. And drank a LOT of beer.

And I think a dude checked me out in the hotel lobby as I was sitting waiting for Krista. Hee Hee.

Krista and her boyfriend Tommy fed and boozed me up. And I looked at this fabulous couple. I saw a vital and alive relationship with love and respect. He looked at her with adoring eyes and he made her so happy. You would think being cynical and nasty, I would just harbor some contemptuous jealous rage, but oh my lord, no. It was the greatest thing I had ever seen and it filled me with joy and gave me hope that THIS exist. And maybe someday, I can find it too.

Yesterday, I walked around, talked to strangers, drank a lot, ate the best meat on a stick I have ever tasted, got on the floor to take a picture of a dog, flirted with some beautiful gay people, and I do think John Belushi served me a beer at some point. I fell in love with Asheville (again) even though it was freezing cold and raining. I’m coming back again, I can almost guarantee it and when I do, I’m treating Krista and Tommy to anything and everything. I’m just about to cry at how much of a good time I had, and how fucking lucky I am to have a friend like Krista.

This morning, I woke up at 5. What the bloody hell. So, its been three hours of me trying to bargain with myself to either get up, or sleep, or in some way be functional. Surprisingly, it took this short time to actually feel borderline all right. I need to snap into somewhat-alertness so that I can go in search of food. I’m going to head out here in about 30 minutes to find a McDonalds. There is no way on god green earth I’m going to be able to watch the Villanova/KU game. And. Well. I miss those dumb dogs something FIERCE.

Thanks GUYS. Thanks Asheville. It was more joyous to me than you’ll ever know.

PS. The Downtown Inn in Asheville is the greatest. Above decent rooms, really nice people, reasonably priced, and EVERYTHING is within walking distance.