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24 March 2015, 14:00

Holy shitsters. I made my brain goo. My work is done here.

Today. I achieved goo-brain.

Fire bad, tree pretty.

So, as I was rounding the corner into the last stretch of tready time, I started thinking about the SOUTH. I’m not a big fan of the south or southern people. Sorry. It’s not a stereotype I hold, it’s from real world experience. I’ve met a lot of southerns and don’t much care for them. Don’t give me this guff about painting all southerners with the same brush, I’m damn sure not going to meet every single one of them to try and prove a point about having prejudicial judgment about a whole group of people. I’ve extrapolated the conclusion that there is a good chance if you are southern, I will not cotton to your views on politics, women’s rights, animal rights, ecology, fashion, or economics. Odds are, if you are southern and I have talked to you for any length of time, in my head I am wishing that you would just go away.

I think the biggest sore point I have is religion. I don’t believe in religion for me. I don’t believe it works well as a whole for anybody. But, unlike the religious, I have no desire to convert anyone to my way of thinking. I could really care less what you believe, as long as I don’t really have to hear about it repeatedly or you vocally condescend to my hell-bound soul because I am an Atheist.

Yes. I am an Atheist… mostly. I was Agnostic, not daring to think I know any better than anybody else what is really going on, but I have decided that is a pussy way to go. I decided to throw my lot in with the godless, and if I am wrong and I am surely going to fry like a fritter in the bowels of purgatory, at least I stood for something. More and more, I find indecision and fence sitting a form of cowardice. Say what you will about FOX NEWS, (and I have plenty to say about those lyin’ bastards) if indeed any of them truly believe in the tripe they are spouting, god love’em for standing by their beliefs. I guess.

Now. I am not against religion for anybody else. If it gets you through the day and it doesn’t do detrimental damage to anybody or anything, then you can paint your naked body periwinkle, stick willow branches up your ass and dance around the campfire singing “Summer Lovin’” for all I give a rat’s ass. Just don’t be handing me a paint brush to join you.

And let me correct some of you offensive, nasty fucks who have erroneous assumptions as to what I am all about. I don’t really think there is a god, with the CAP G. God, in the sense of some sentient thing out there giving a fuck whether I eat fish on Friday, support gay marriage or go through a set of rituals to validate my devotion, I believe does not exist. This doesn’t mean I believe in Satan, or that I am amoral. I would think that the fact that I don’t subscribe to god would preclude that logically that would go the same for Satan, but the IQ of a lot of my moral superiors I find to be inadequate to comprehend this. I won’t rob or steal or molest your kid. I won’t laugh and burn virgins at the alter or romp through the hillside spreading disease and homosexuality to the god fearing good people of the land. I find it highly offensive and disrespectful for anyone to assume I have no moral compass or set of values that I live my life by. You will never see me kill for my religion, molest for my god, or excuse any of my behavior because of my faith. I will not ever impede your freedom to worship. I have the right to question it, and have my opinion on it but, in the end, your choices are yours and your life is yours to live.

That being said, I do like some of the tenants held by Christians and Buddhists – especially that do unto others thing, and to some extent, we ARE our brother’s keeper. To further our species and our life force, we need to limit the harm we do. To keep our light shining brightly in the universe, we need to assist each other when we can. To make life worth living, we need to value caring and love. We are a mere speck, a tiny bit of fluff that is here and gone. We are nothing compared to the grand scheme of things. The universe keeps rolling along whether we are here or not. The tides roll in, the sun sets, and the stars travel the night sky whether we are good people or whether we are a lump of shit just taking up space and wasting resources. Now, instead of that fact making me nihilistic, making me think my actions don’t matter, making me think it all just doesn’t matter, I think that makes it imperative that we make our time count. We effect good where we can, and make life better for someone else. This is actually the basis of how I live my days. Some people can do this on a grand scale, some people can only effect a small sphere around them. I can only control what sort of person I am, and to know whatever happens, I stayed true to the small but vital list of things I value comforts me. To this end it makes me predictable. My actions are based on my values, and they don’t change, even when it may not serve my self interest. No force holds sway on my life, and I am not controlled by the need to please a god. This is what I think. This is NOT what I think you should think. If you want to shoot meth into your testicles until all your teeth fall out, as long as you don’t steal my shit or hurt anyone, lets coral you into a Meth Spa, and you can have at it. If you want to go to church three times a week, roll around in ash, believe in a zombie hippie that lived a long time ago and now resides with an invisible old white man in the sky, go for it. If any of it makes you a person that does the minimal amount of harm to your surroundings, I will gladly support your right to be religious.

My problem with religion really has nothing to do with the ideals proposed in the doctrines, but in the application. A behemoth like the Vatican has subjugated and controlled large masses of people, protected the evil and the elite, and the people they purport to lead suffer greatly. Fundamentalist Islam is the foundation for a lot of the holy war being waged against the innocent. Christianity has caused an inordinate amount of sadness and hurt that I feel could have been avoided. I see religion as a control mechanism used by a few to herd the many. Religion has turned and twisted simple concepts like “be good to one another” or “care for your fellow man” into horrendous tools that have raped populations and washed a good amount of pain and shame on this planet.

You do good, you do right, you spread love and joy, not because some invisible old man says that you are better than the rest and you’ll get a cookie, but because it is good and right to do. My values and faith in me and mankind is not shaken when bad things happen because I know its not retribution, it’s not punishment for some shortcomings I have morally, or that I didn’t worship the right way or I didn’t give the preacher enough money. I don’t stop doing what is right and good if I think the universe has foresaken me – I don’t go into emotional tailspins wondering why the universe keeps shitting on me even while I religiously go to worship at its feet. The universe is the universe. The universe is me. I am a little part of the universe trying to know myself and my place. Trying to please your god is not why you do the right thing. Trying to avoid hell is not the reason you do the right thing. Trying to get that ecclesiastical cookie is not why you do the right thing. You do the right thing because it’s right. You do the right thing when no one is looking. You do the right thing for the virtue of it being right.

“It’s God’s will” is a giant crock of shit. “God will provide” is another giant crock of shit. You right the wrongs you see, you correct what you can, you help when you must, and you have some free will to get up and provide for yourself. Letting yourself be blindly lead is weakness, letting your thoughts and path be provided for you is laziness, in my opinion. But if it keeps you from shooting up the malls, and diddling little girls, you keep reading your bible. If you are so weak willed that it takes threats from a giant grandpa in the sky to keep you from doing shit you shouldn’t, keep going to church. If you get strength, courage and common sense from your chosen religion, by all means, go for it. If it’s the only thing keeping you from becoming some heinous blight on society, I’ll drive you to the mosque. THAT’S probably the only value I find in any of that.

All I can hope for is that religion become benign enough that the worst thing it causes is me getting up at 7 a.m. on a Sunday to scare away some Jehovah witnesses at my door wanting to know if I’ve found Jesus yet.