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22 April 2018, 12:47

So, I finally found a lighter, and I really want to burn this possessed, evil, horrible, car destroying, stripey shirt. Didn’t have a pit, so I used a metal bowl, and I had some water standing by, in case my bad luck kicks in and I burn down the house, or a dog or my hair.

This, I think is a practice burn for the big one coming up. I have comic books, his clothes, his whore’s hotel towels he brought into my house, flotsam/jetsum, guitar picks, assorted electronic accrutmon, and my marriage license. This will be the BIG BURN. I’m going to pick a nice day after I sign the papers, and me, some friends, and beer will burn this shit in a cathartic and joyously destructive way. They’ll be pictures, and maybe a video. It will be the ritual that exorcises the evil that was in my life. It will scorch the earth, and clear the way for new beginnings. It will be a bittersweet day that my hopes and plans for that life will finally die. But also, all the pain I endured might also burn with it all. Sometimes ritual is very important. I’m not pleased that people call this a celebration. Death of a life, even one that wasn’t good, is never a celebration. But, death is a part of life, and from endings come new beginnings. From the fire, hope again springs eternal. So the BIG BURN will be something very important to me. Something probably necessary.

Till then, this pre-burn was very satisfying, if not a little scary that I might accidentally set ablaze the yard.