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22 March 2018, 13:58

So, I bebop around the internet, specifically Cracked.com, one of my favorite wastes of time. I see a story on comic books/superheros. My mind goes back to comic book hunts and “lessons” and what not I did with Doug. Not everything dealing with Doug was bad, otherwise, I wouldn’t be hurting so much. There were good times, nice times, times I really liked.

Comics were such a big part of his life, and it was SO great to see something he truly loved and enjoyed. We hunted for comics, he told me about comics, and I got interested a little in that part of nerd culture, as it was woven into other things that I DID like. I loved seeing his eyes light up when he talked about comics and I though it was fantastic he knew so much about this passion of his. It was one of the hobbies I encouraged because I liked the world of comics and all it touched.

Surprisingly, seeing the comics on Cracked, sent a bit of a bittersweet shiver down my spine. I experienced the feeling of missing, at least, that time I spent with comics and Doug. It makes me wonder why his whole life couldn’t be that filled with joy, and wishes he could have been that happy more of his life.

Yes, there were good times, and times I treasure. And to a great extent, things like that kept me from being totally miserable a lot of the time. It just wasn’t enough for him. A lot of our life wasn’t enough for him. I’m not sure if there will ever be “enough” for him to be happy. All I know is, its a very good sign that I can remember times like that and smile. I can miss it. I can appreciate it.