| Now |


3 December 2018, 08:42

Yes. In a happy, upward climb. Things have gotten better. Things are getting better. Things will be even mo’ betta here in the future. Yes. I do have my moods, but this isn’t a mood. This is backed up with empirical evidence appearing in the last couple of weeks. Yes. I’m actually excited about 2019. Yes. I actually don’t really have a big plan for my future, other than one or two things that I really want right now to happen. Ain’t that a change in modus operandi for me?

It’s really odd, to feel this happy and hopeful. I do stress on it and have suspicions, and I can’t believe that I am doing that with GOOD/GREAT things instead of the bad things. Maybe I’m just a stressing prone type person. It’s really odd to feel this…. young. The voice in my head says negative things about it and always brings up my age in regards to what is happening. Can it really be this way? Aren’t I suppose to be regulated to the old person stuff, and limited opportunities, and smaller, more appropriate goals? These days, I’ve blown appropriate out of the water. Am I running too fast, going too far, reaching for the wrong things? These days, I’m getting the answer of “why TF not?”…. It’s really odd to not focus on the past and look at my feet. It seems very right to look up and at the sky and run forward. It’s been a long time since something has felt right to me. And, slowly, kinda. Trusting that feeling. I am learning not to have the paralysis from analysis. Soon, hopefully, I’ll be able to celebrate fully and share some of the things happening, but right now, we will see what we will see and see if it all turns out as I hope. Then, its story time.

Three things. Yesterday, I was elated that I won my first match against an actual real person at the nerd store MTG tourney. One of my opponents said I was delightful. And some other dude mistook me for 38 years old.


Other Stuff: