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25 November 2005, 00:00

Did you hear? I live in a state of morons. Knuckle dragging, bible thumping, paste eating, morons. Kansas has its own website:


Not only did we as a state poop on evolution, we had the unmitigated gall to redefine science to include explanations of a supernatural nature. You can tell somebody didn’t pay that much attention in science class and then ran for School Board, where a lot of other window lickers voted for them. You know, you can say that hairy, fat egg shaped ghost created the universe. You can say god, in whatever form, from the five armed kind to the premenstrual hammering the wrath type created the earth. You can say we are the result of a great fart unleashed by some unknown supernatural force. You just can’t called that science. Involving some unworldly creator that inherently needs “faith” to exist ain’t science. That’s spiritualism, and that ain’t science.

For you people who snoozed all through high school:

The scientific method follows a series of steps:
(1) identify a problem you would like to solve,
(2) formulate a hypothesis,
(3) test the hypothesis,
(4) collect and analyze the data,
(5) make conclusions.

Rinse. Repeat.

It’s an ongoing process that evetually builds up a foundation of fundamental laws that are in place because they have lasted the test of time and scrutiny. Not to say if we found something contradictory tomorrow, after an enormous amount of testing, that fundamental law might be changed. It’s, ideally, a self correcting system.

Intelligent design, is based on the believe/faith that a CREATOR was involved, and that cannot be tested and analyzed. You just have to say, “Geeze, it just CAN’T be all random.” That is creationism, and that doesn’t belong in schools, being paid for by my money. And of late, I’ve been paying taxes, so I can bitch and moan all I want.

So, being true to my calm and rational character, I emailed an inquiry… I guess you would call it an inquiry, to the Kansas Board of Education on what the logic behind there decision:

Dear god, if this is some sort of ploy to keep Kansas in the news, it
sure is working. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE, IDIOTS?
I want my tax money back. NO, you do NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO REDEFINE
SCIENCE STANDARDS. Do you need a remedial course in basic science, or
somebody to explain yet again what the scientific method is or why the
SUPERNATURAL has no business being taught in science class, or why

I don’t usually campaign very much on the local level, but I’ll surely
be out and about during election time trying to get some board members ousted

And those of you who aren’t, good luck to you.

Oh, just a thought, why don’t you google “kansans are morons”… I’m so
proud that we have surpassed even Arkansas in idiocy.

I thought the “Dear god” part was a pretty ironic touch.

Those of you from Arkansas penning hate mail to me right now can just bite me. You are, in all the lists I’ve googled, ranked like 300th in quality of education.

I received ONE email response from Sue Gamble, one of the four opponents of the newly amended science standards:

Thank you for your message. November 8, 2005 the six member majority on the state board finally exercised their majority vote and adopted science standards that change the definition of science to include supernatural explanations of natural phenomena. I believe these adopted standards are seriously flawed and need to be rescinded. For the record the vote was six fundamentalist christians yes votes (Abrams, Bacon, Willard, Van Meter, Morris). Two moderate republicans (Gamble, Rupe) NO and two democrats (Waugh, Wagnon ) NO.

This has stopped being about science or education it is now about stopping a political movement that wants to turn our education system back to a time that we did not expect that all students could learn to high expectations. If we don’t stop this movement now it will harm our economic viability both at the state level but also nationally because this is a national movement.

Kansas has a long history of very strong education. Currently Kansas is rated in the top 10% of about anything that is used to measure educational quality nationally. That is one of the things that the minority on the state board finds so troublesome. We feel the quality of our education system is jeopardized as a result of this action that weakens science standards.

In 1999 a previous state board adopted science standards that seriously de-valued evolution. In 2000 the Kansas electorate removed three of the four members who voted for the 1999 flawed standards. I hope they will do the same in 2006 because I am convinced that the action of the six member majority does not reflect the wishes of the majority of Kansans.

Four of the six member majority will be up for election in 2006: Bacon, Van Meter, Willard, Morris. I am compiling a list of folks from all over the world who want to help defeat these four. If you would like to help just let me know and I will add your name. Thanks for caring.


Sue Gamble

PS: The standards as now approved by the six member majority do not include the words creationism or intelligent design but the definition of science tacitly includes the acknowledgment that there are other explanations for science than natural ones. The language is subtle but the concepts are there and I think they weaken the science standards and I won�t give up until they are rescinded.

Yeah, this will bring industry and tourism to our little banjo pickin’, booger eating state.

Hey. Do me a favor. EMAIL, FAX OR CALL these people and explain the scientific method to them. Or just go “oooOOO ahhhAHH bunga bunga EEeee” on the phone at them. I’d like that.