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21 April 2015, 09:54



Treadytime is back.

I have backslid a bit. It’s been TWO WEEKS since I did anything resembling good. First, Doug got sick, so it was an excuse not to do anything. For some reason, I can’t clean or exercise when Doug’s home. I don’t know what it is. Resentment that he’s lying there watching TV while I clean? A need to actually do nothing with him? I don’t know. But I did no exercise. Then there was the bad weather, and that added to not wanting to do anything, plus he was sick at home so, he needs quiet and a nurse… Then I got sick… so that waylaid me. And I got the urge to make a bunch of cookies that I ate. And burritos. I made burritos. I ate those too. I threw in some salads here and there. But then I had a couple of pops. I had a bunch of Sprite because that’s what my mom gave me when I was sick.

Yup. And all this happened just right at the point where I was seeing a jump in my progress. A big jump. And then I ran the thing into the ditch.

But today, I got back on the machine of torture and did a good three miles straight through – no pushing myself to run or do something horrible. I don’t even count this as anything but getting back into my routine.

Muscles on my body that were resting for two weeks, suddenly starting hurting and saying to me “WHAT THE BLUE FUCK? I THOUGHT WE’D GIVEN THIS SHIT UP?” But after the first mile, all the pain in my knees went away, although I don’t know if this is a good thing. Pain is nature’s way of saying “Hey, stop doing whatever the fuck you’re doing.”

It’s warm and sunshiny and the habit of exercise I built up the last three months hasn’t gone away. The urge and normalcy of it came rushing back, so the motivation won’t be so hard to find. I just think it’s shitty that I backslid. I was about 10 pounds from taking this show on the road, and doing this outside where the normal people are.

And now I have a virtual workout buddy. My friend Peter has gracious lent his services as motivator. Not sure how to work in a workout buddy though. I tend to get very anger filled, nasty and misanthropic. I start actively hating everybody, for working out to me is not a social thing. And having an after-workout buddy is probably not going to work because my brain is at the level of trying to recognize my own fingers. He might be the pre-motivational stop before the actual torture. It worked out like that today. He actually helped me forget that I hate working out. It was distraction from me thinking about how I hate exercise. It worked. It was like, all of a sudden, I was talking to Pete, and now, what the fuck? I’m on the treadmill.

My butt hurts now though. Haven’t figured out why.

And fuck if it isn’t only 10 a.m. My sleepies have been so screwed up, this has usually been either the time I’m getting up or just getting to bed. I am determined to stay up all day. Napping in the afternoon is a sign that you have truly become a burden on society and you are a candidate for euthanasia.

You know, I might even do the treadmill a little bit more. You never know. Probably not, but it’s nice to dream.