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SALE FROM HELL

13 June 2008, 01:00

  • 6-11-08 ***

It’s been a swollen red monkey butt of a day. Really. Don’t I look tired and run over by a truck? Yeah, my hair is pretty light strawberry blonde – sun bleached out the red.

I’ve been talking to the neighbors and interacting with everybody in the neighborhood more today than I ever have. And they are really great people. I never was one to socialize with any neighbors, Ken was always the one that did that connection with the surrounding world, so that I could just kick back and be anti-social. I kind of enjoyed it so maybe this will open up something for me, I’ll be more integrated with the neighborhood and community. I spent most of the day lugging furniture all by myself outside for the garage sale.

The rest of the day was a friggin swollen monkey butt of a day.

I went to get a driver’s license which wasn’t bad. A hour waiting, and in and out. Picture not bad

The the iPhone problems. First of all, my iPhone has decided to become possessed by the devil. My iPhone won’t charge or sync. My iPhone turns on by itself. My iPhone is whacked really bad.
So Apple is going to fix it, hopefully for free, and send me a temporary iPhone till mine is fix. That is cool. Thanks Apple, and Glen and whichever phone monkey put me in touch with Glen.

I’m also trying to figure out how to visit/do something with Lesa. She’s about 12 hours from Asheville. There must be SOME WAY….
I am now sleeping on the floor. I am now going to be sleeping on the floor for a while.

I still have to talk to the mortgage company, to tell them I might have a renter for the crackerbox, but, can’t really do that because the FRIKKIN PHONE IS FUBARRED.

So the next three days, I’ll be sweating my ass off at a garage sale. YAY. Shoot me. BUT, I have beer, so, it might not be so bad.

  • 6-12-08 ***

This is my first garage sale I’ve ever overlorded. And hopefully, my last.

Dear god almighty, kill me with small talk. I’m good at it, but afterwards doing it makes me psychotic. Right now, I’d like someone to beat the crap out of. I’m really not here to dicker, or bargin. I just don’t care, on this death march of bottom feeder consumerism. Please. Just leave the money on the dresser and use lube…

Old people wanting to stop and chat. People wanting to talk you down from 5 dollars to 3 dollars, vehemently. People who want to wait till the last day because they think you’ll lower the price. DO I LOOK LIKE THE PRICE CLUB? Do you even think I LIKE IT OUT HERE? The only reason I am even remotely tolerating your annoying and oh so painful presence standing here in my yard with your little yappy dog making a puddle on my driveway is that I’ve had three beers and I am a gentle fucking goddamn soul with a generous spirit. The sky has been threatening to rain all morning. I’ve had the blue light special on all morning and its been drawing a plethora of mankind in its various incarnations. I really think if the dump smelled better, most of these people would be down there trying hard to dicker down a price tag of FREE. A fifty dollar lamp for ten bucks? Nope. To steep. Eh, fuck, I’ll stick it in storage – that’s not a problem.

I’ve lubricated the situation with three beers. I’m still being nice. Trust me. The beer helps. I think the neighbors would like me to sit over with them and be sociable. Oh dear god, I’m not sociable. Egads, I’m anything but sociable. I talked to them some the day and the little 11 year old boy hung out with me for hours. Parents. A word of warning… or maybe just FYI. An 11 year old child will tell your private business to ANYONE who will listen… really, no joke. I learned more about my neighbors than I ever wanted to know.

Be back later, after the garage sale gets worse…

…guy won’t pay $20 for a $300 dollar bike… sigh.

  • 6-13-08 ***

So, I survived the first day of the garage sale. Made $150 even with my bad attitude and lack of beer.

So, it rained like a mofo last night. Soaked just about everything. Sigh. I don’t want to be out here. I need to do laundry. Clean. Drink the free beer the neighbors brought over again. I like it when I get free beers. It’s a lovely, lovely gesture, beering me.

So, I’m out here again, with rained-on crap that I want to pawn off on people.

So, it smells like wet wood out here. I think I’m drinking a diet Dr Pepper and hating it. I’m operating on a level that is only tangently connected to reality. I think my brain hasn’t decided whether things are all right or things are the pits. And I have bad hair.

So, I’m about a week off from the big trip. I think I need to contact a kennel in the area, because official I won’t have a place to live, and even if I did, neither place is fenced in, so the zoo needs to stay some place secure. The IRS says I should have my refund in a couple of weeks, but I believe them as much as I believe that I will grow a third nostril…. on my butt. But. I’m just dealing with things as they come, now.

So, the more I think about things, the more I think I’m really going to enjoy living in the Asheville/Hendersonville area. The more I think about things, if I had stayed here, I would not loathe living here. There was a graphic design position at an old company I worked at before who loved me, and in any other circumstances, I would go for that position, and stay – but things being as they are, with the life being dead and all, and my feet firmly pointed toward the future, I guess I’m on my way to the east. I was thinking of visiting friends I had on the east, in Danbury CT, Rhode Island, New York. I mapquested the thing – they are 12 hours away. OMFG – but if I visited these friends, they would let me stay with them. And I’m thinking down the road to Macworld and how it will be awesome to see my “family” again. It’s a heady feeling when you know that you aren’t tied down in a big way – just the dogs and they are fairly portable. The house, I know will be in good hands, and if I can get all of that worked out with the mortgage company, that will be just another thing that I don’t need to worry about.

So, the tattoo is looking better – it stopped peeling and only itched for a short while.

So, I’m being eaten alive by mosquitos which proliferate inevitably after it rains, and it’s rained here more than normal lately.

So, I really am mentally done with the whole garage sale experience. I just would like to go do laundry and do other adult things.

Dang. I still have 5 more hours of this garage sale to sit out here and do squat.

So send money. Send beer. Send help.

  • crackerbox update ***

So I have this potential renter – soonest in can get in here is August 1st. But is willing to clean the place so I don’t have to.

So I talked to the mortgage company, and they are happy to work with me, my account isn’t in trouble and all is right and groovy with them about the renter. I have a little bit more time to live here and fix things. Getting those ducks in that darned row, you know.

So I have some places to live and a little more time to move. So this trip out is NOT going to be with dogs and shit. It’s just to finalize a place to live and a job.

So today, three people said I looked like I was in my mid thirties.

So all is pretty groovy with the world. Except for this garage sale thing. But this too shall pass.