| Now |


11 June 2015, 10:05

Today’s question is WHU??? WHYcome treadmill time was easy today? And I put it all on harder settings. Sure, the first 10 minutes sucked donkey scrotums but the rest of it was easy peasy, cheddar cheesy. Is it because its cooler? Is it because I took a day off and ate half a pizza? Is it because I’ve lost on sensory apparatus that monitors pain and crap-having levels? I don’t know. I’ve done at hour at 5% incline, and I’m just now taking a break and seriously thinking about getting back on there for another 10 or 20 minutes – not 15, that would break my poor OCD ruled world into a million pieces.

Oh WHYCOME a lot of things.

I’m looking over 2015 rumblies and I’ll definitely need to cull and delete here in a bit. I don’t know if I should wait until the end of the year or do it as a go along.

Still on break.



Well FUCCCKKK. Pile the WHU on top of WHU. So I get back on the tready, not knowing if I’m gonna do torture until the time ends in zero of the 20 minute increments, or my distance ends in a number divisible evenly by full miles (yeah, I’m that person). I get on there and starter-up. After about 5 minutes my legs burn, but not the sit-the-fuck down burn. It’s the if-you-go-faster-it’ll-feel-better. Some insanity in my head said, “This is a GOOD idea, let’s run you fat ass, it’ll be fun.” Fuck me, if I didn’t turn that thing up and run. It was the lumbering run of a frozen Thanksgiving turkey, but I ran. This is the part where you in-shape, runner-type, gym nazis need not listen to and laugh at, but I did a 10 minute mile (GOOGLE is a 10 minute mile good GOOGLE

For a fattie, a second time beginner, it’s great. YAY. So there. I have no idea what came over me, everything in me – legs, brain, lungs etc. – said “yeah, so let’s do some more”. I wasn’t out of breath, legs just said WHHEEEE, brain imagined me running around the track in Forest Shitty and I sweated like a fattened pig at Rush Limbaugh’s house. It was run REALLY FAST, then run really pokey and catch some oxygen, then run REALLY fast, then walk the last little bit. By the end of it though, I wanted to kill myself. But I’ve sat down and rested and for some crazy reason, right now, I’m still pondering going back on there. But I don’t want to overdo it. I was so proud, I had to use the Running Calorie Calculator instead of the Walking Calculator. Hey. It’s the little things in life that brings me joy.

I don’t know if it’s because I have headphones on and I can control the music, don’t know if it’s because I took off a day and ate pizza, I don’t know if it’s because it’s cooler and less humid, I don’t know if it’s because I am wearing a wife-beater type top instead of my big billowy t-shirt, I don’t know if it’s because finally I’ve let go of the few marbles I had, and embraced the insanity.

Beats the fuck out of me.

I’m not real sure I could do it again, though.