JUNE
5 June 2025, 16:03
It’s been a minute. I always think I’m going to start writing more frequently but I never do.
Since the last time I took tapping to keyboard, a plethora of events and happenings transpired – good, bad, fugly. Shoot. This year began as bad as I could imagine with the election of the orange human horrorshow and his german monkey man to the most powerful position in the world.
I had started this a little entry before my birthday, when my world was much bleaker than it currently is. But, in the last couple of weeks, life surprised me and changed for the better – life is always a constant and the one thing you can always count on is change. It’s just that change for the BETTER is something I never expect. So, a lot of the psychotic depressive ranting got 86’d for something a little more cheery and hopeful. Hope springs eternal.
It’s my stupid birthday time. Just older. Creakier. Crankier. And rattling around the world like a Saturn Ion with loose bearings. My knees pop, my temper flares, my stomach no longer likes eating the same foods I like. Treading water, and swimming for shore. I can’t call my life bad, so I’m going with “It’s THERE.” It’s like anyone else, I wish I had more this and that, and I wish things were easier, but as I look back, it could have been a lot worse.
Car is being worked on, job got better, I got wiser, and I live in the most interesting of places. I keep my eye on the prize (a permanent homestead that is all mine), the fam and furries are fine, and a lizard who now is no longer just some little freaky statue sitting in an expensive housing, but something that shows a little life, and daresay a little affection to its food ATM (moi). So let’s look at the past year or so, and garner some insight… maybe? I don’t know. Who really knows. Only the shadow knows…
Mousey the lizard is currently running around and trying to attack a bottle cap.
Work is something I lucked out on. I am able to do the arty farty thing for a living, probably now until I kick the bucket. And the days of the bosses who make me cry (continually) at work are gone. I have enough resources for a functional life. I am actually GREAT at what I do, and I get to continually learn and grow in my abilities and creativity. I love that for me.
Mousey the lizard is now watching out the window at the sketchy neighbors.
Life lessons came and went and I think I got smarter. I have cultivated a premium blend of no-fucks-given and drink from the no-fucks-given smoothie regularly. I’m a quick angry crank, but I calm easily. I can tell you if I forgive, then I forget – cause that letting-go thing is quite freeing for the soul. If I haven’t forgiven you yet, I probably never will, so, give it up, move it on… and out of my life. I will not suffer fools and foes for long. It’s my ever evolving, ever expanding misanthropy of which I embrace and in which I wallow. Yeah. that means, “Oh FFS” and “GTFO” is now my Zen.
Mousey the lizard jumped on the dog, and now all of them are hiding under the desk from the reptile.
Friends are still there. They number less than I had last year, but, again, I don’t seem to care. The ones I have are the BEST of the BEST, and my only regret is that I don’t get to see most of them since they are scattered to the four winds. They make me feel loved, they make me feel appreciated, they make me feel human. And most of them make me laugh, think, or be happy. That’s really all I could ask from humanity is don’t harsh my vibe.
Mousey the lizard has disappeared, and I’ll probably have to go a’lookin for her at some point.
Home is good. There’s good and bad. But everybody is on an upward trajectory. I hope. For me at least, a lot of the time, I feel like Sisyphus, but I inch closer and closer with my boulder. I may have to start over, but I get a little closer to where I’m going, and soon it will be at the top of my hill. I guess just a race against time to get where I’m going and still be able to enjoy it for a while. Birthdays fuck me up and play with my head, so I’m going to spend the next couple of weeks in Ponderville on the way to Rememberwhenston. I’ll probably watch some more old 80s Duran Duran concerts and pine for the time I had the 28” waist and fully operational knees. And I’ll continue to be the joyful crankypuss that I am. My doctor says its better than the alternative, but how do I know the alternative is not me sitting in a plushy chair, eating ice cream and petting puppies for eternity?
Mousey the lizard is back, and now just giving me a serial killer stare.
Politically, it is all going to hell. I think I should be more worried about it than I am, and trust me, two weeks ago I was. Quietly. I can’t go to Canada because they have banned the likes of me. Costa Rica is out of the question, though I could live like a Oligarch on 25,000 dollars, I don’t like that mosquitos areas plentiful as pocket change and banana slugs are giant and can eat a Chihuahua. I thought for sure America has lost its goddamn mind and we are all going to burn, but recent events give me hope, NAY, my friend, even give me a reason to wake up the next day. I’m seeing the giant orange abomination start to get what’s coming to him and schadenfreude has become a desert for my meal and not my only sustenance. I went to the June 14th NoKings event and watched all the others on the boob tube, and I feel like we are probably NOT going to have WWIII anytime this year. I had written something before this week that you could describe as “unhinged”, but I drank from my no-fucks-left smoothie juice, and I’ve calm TF down a bit. Plus, I see there are enough people out there that feel like I do, so misery loves company and the company makes me feel better.
Mousey the lizard, I think, might be looking for a place to poop.
Health is declining, but not in a composing-a-will sort of way. Blew out myMousey the lizard is now watching out the window again, possible wishing for escape or a Mr. Mousey the lizard.
I hate this house, and not thrilled with the neighborhood. I’ve moved (temporarily) to what one of my friends describes as a “vintage” neighborhood. Yeah. It was a hurried and crisis move to whereever would rent to me and three (wink wink) dogs. I had Thanksgiving to New Years to find a place for us all, and you can imagine how attentive and eager people are to deal with that sort of thing during that time of year. After a number of close calls and rug pulls, I ended up in this “vintage” neighborhood of which I can’t wait till we “vintage” the hell out. But I’m working on that part.
Mousey the lizard came and jumped on me, and I don’t know why.
The most freakiest part of this year, was the reappearance in my life of people long since banished – or so I thought. I had a cousin (SHRUG) try to contact me, trying to establish some relationship with me. I had separated myself from my family (especially parents) long ago. They were people I did not want to know, be around, have relationships with. The morals, values and characters of these people were ones that NO ONE should have. They were bad, dysfunctional and abusive in the 70s, when being those things meant something way more serious and heinous than what they do now. The cousin wanted to be “family”. I had blown that off. Unless there was a big fat check in it for me, I didn’t feel the need to rekindle those connections and revive that dead horse. Then the APS of the state my batshit parents live in contacted me and talked to me for a while, and the long and short of it is my parents are still alive and kicking. It would make my dad 90 and my mom, like 82ish. Feedback is that my dad is horrible and my mom is crazy, so that tracks. Dementia is overtaking them rather quickly I am told. When I found they were ancient and still kicking and being allowed to run around loose in the world, my first inkling was “Evil dies hard…” The second was “Do I need to do anything?” Turns out, they are financial well off, and nearing the point where they will need to go be put away somewhere. The state will keep me updated. I guess. I may still be in the will since my mom thinks its still 1984 and I still live with them. I’m next of kin, I think it doesn’t cost me anything (I hope) and there’s no shenanigans to be had. Who knows what that will develop into or what mess I will eventually be pulled into. There’s not enough beer in the world….sigh.
I’ve become a lot more insular and distrusting these days. Circling the wagons. In the last 8 months, its been like riding on a broken tilt-a-whirl that has come off its axis and is on fire. I take it all day by day, and beer by beer. I’m pushing the boulder up the hill only to ride it back down, and then do it all over again the next day. But I’m surprised that things are looking up and I’m not totally wanting all humanity to roast over a spit like fat luau hogs… yet. So, you’re updated and I’m spent. It was a long one.
Now, I got to go, since Mousey the lizard has now become stuck in between the couch cushions.
