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MEANWHILE

5 April 2018, 12:49

Still waiting for the car. And I have a lot of time on my hands, so I’ve been googling, reading and what not:

    After Narcissist Abuse… So, to start, you have to conceptualize that EVERYTHING WAS A LIE. Not almost everything, but EVERYTHING from ‘I love you’ to ‘I hate you, you are mentally ill, your friends, hate you, my family hates you, the world hates you, etc.!’ Don’t forget all the other day to day lies, the lies about the affairs, the lies about STUPID stuff, the lies about accountability, the lies about other lies, etc. All of these messages that the Narcissist was basically downloading into your head is all part of their delusional disorder based on LIES that they used to manage you down, gain power over you, and to control you. So when you refer back to these messages they put in your head and RELATE to them to try to resolve ANY of this, you are only listening to the same delusional lies that got you into this abusive relationship that is now still convincing you that you are to blame, everything bad, and YOU have to accept responsibility here for the demise of this relationship. Those messages were designed to debilitate you and they have – so replaying any of them will still keep you in right in the abuse.
    Depression and IN and Out of Love “It’s the one that causes depressed partners to say they’re no longer in love and have never loved their partners. It’s called anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure or interest in anything. For me, it was a kind of deadness. Rather than an excess of painful emotion, it was the lack of pain, the lack of feeling, that was the undercurrent of all the surface turmoil. I believed that the relationship was holding me back. It had become hollow, empty of the intensity I longed for. I could only find happiness and passion with someone else. It was the fantasy of the perfectly passionate mate that was a constant lure.”
    Victims of NPD People “For those who have been through it, I don’t need to explain any of this. It just didn’t make any sense to me! It was like something inside of them is/was wrong, injured, or whatever (rotten.) Unfortunately, I believed it could be healed or fixed and I kept applying “bandages” in an attempt to fix something SO unseen and so deep and damaged that I couldn’t even begin to understand it yet alone fix it. I WAS TOTALLY BLINDSIGHTED by what was just abuse and what a predator does to capture its prey – it starts with how the camouflage themselves.”